Not Emotionless
by tinylexie
Summary: Narcissa's thoughts after Andromeda is disowned by the Black family.


**Author's Note****: We don't really know anything about Narcissa's relationship with her sister Andromeda, but since we learned in the **_**Harry Potter**_** series that Narcissa is capable of feeling a love and affection so strong that she would dare to lie straight to Voldemort's face, I believe that it is more than possible for Narcissa to have loved Andromeda when they were growing up. I also believe that Narcissa would have had conflicting thoughts about Andromeda being disowned after she had married Ted Tonks. This is a drabble, therefore, on what Narcissa could have possibly been thinking after Andromeda was blasted off the Black family tree.**

It was not a widely known fact, but Narcissa had been very close to both of her sisters. Narcissa, in fact, often envied how strong and how dramatic they both were. Bellatrix was extreme in her Pureblood beliefs, while Andromeda was just as extreme in her beliefs that blood purity wasn't really all that important. Little Narcissa believed in blood purity, but she was never as outspoken about it as Bellatrix was. And even though Andromeda was considered by most in the family as a rebel, Narcissa still loved her and still thought she was absolutely wonderful for being so strong-willed.

Narcissa certainly felt more affection for Andromeda than she did for Bellatrix, as Bellatrix had always had the tendency to be cruel. Andromeda, on the other hand, had never been cruel to Narcissa. And even though Andromeda may not have defended Narcissa from Bellatrix as often as the youngest Black sister would have liked, Andromeda had never joined in with the taunting. And always after a certain amount of time had passed, Andromeda would always tell Bellatrix to leave Narcissa alone. This would always draw Bellatrix's attention from Narcissa and Andromeda. Narcissa hated seeing Andromeda and Bellatrix argue, but she was also glad that Bellatrix was no longer tormenting her.

Narcissa also remembered the times when it was just her and Andromeda spending time together. Those times were wonderful, even though the two sisters never spoke much to each other. Andromeda was too much of a rebel for Narcissa's comfort level, but Narcissa still enjoyed being in her older sister's company.

Narcissa especially loved it when Andromeda would do sweet things such as brushing her hair, reading a bedtime story to her, or singing a lullaby to her.

Despite the fact that Andromeda was a rebel, she could also be real sweet and comforting.

So Narcissa was torn when Andromeda was disowned.

For marrying a Mudblood.

Narcissa supposed she should not have really been surprised. Andromeda, after all, had always been a rebel.

But Narcissa had also thought that Andromeda had loved her and cared about her.

Andromeda knew what the family was like. She had to have known that she would be disowned for getting involved with filth below them.

But none of that had stopped Andromeda from betraying the family, including Narcissa.

At the same time, though, Narcissa could not really be angry at Andromeda.

Andromeda must had really loved Ted Tonks to have married him, despite knowing that her family would forever hate her for doing such a despicable thing.

Narcissa could not help but also think about Lucius. What if he had not been a Pureblood? Would she still love him? A traitorous part of Narcissa screamed, _"Yes, I would still love Lucius, even if he was some filthy Mudblood!"_

Narcissa knew it was wrong to think in such terms. It was even wrong to think about love.

But she still not could help that such thoughts crossed her mind from time to time.

Not that Narcissa was a rebel. She wasn't Andromeda, after all.

Narcissa had always been one to prefer silence, so it had not been that hard for her in the verbal sense when she had been told by her family that no one was to ever again speak of Andromeda and that they were all to act as if Andromeda had never existed.

But in Narcissa's mind, it was hard to accept that Andromeda was no longer family.

Why did Andromeda have to marry that Mudblood? Why did Andromeda have to shame her family? Why did Andromeda have to ruin everything?

No, Narcissa wasn't allowed to think about Andromeda anymore. Andromeda no longer existed.

But she had been so kind.

And Andromeda had not been afraid to love. She had a courage that Narcissa envied.

No, Andromeda was no one to Narcissa. Andromeda was no longer worthy of Narcissa's thought or attention.

But a traitorous part of Narcissa would always miss and love the middle Black sister. Narcissa was not completely emotionless. She just kept her emotions hidden. She kept her emotions hidden because she loved her family, and she didn't want to be seen as a traitor.

Narcissa didn't want to be forgotten by her family like Andromeda had been.

Narcissa wanted to be loved by her family.


End file.
